Some might say it's foolish to talk about something so trivial like the food eaten in a TV writers' room when there are so many other interesting things about a writers' room.
Well, the truth is, for those who work in a TV writers' room, food is at the pinnacle of what matters.
And a deep dive into the idiosyncrasies of food in a writers' room will give you an idea of what it's really like to be in a writers' room.
The writers' room is like an all-day conference meeting. Breaks are noticed, participation is noted, and there's some interesting conversation taking place.
These days can last from 6 hours to 20 hours.
But what keeps a writers' room going is the prospect of food at the end of the tunnel.
And that starts right when the writers' room gets in and...
The writers' room decides where to eat for lunch
We may live in an age where food delivery is as simple as tapping a few things on your phone. And many of these shows exist on lots where there are ample commissaries and places to eat.
BUT the way writers' rooms decide to get food is by sending the PA somewhere to pick up individual orders.
Why?
Because the writers are stuck in an all-day business meeting and they want something to look forward to.
But there are too many options for food in LA. So, how do you decide where to go. There are a few ways shows have gone about deciding in this chaotic moment.
Some leave it up to the showrunner. Some take turns with one writer deciding each day. (This can be an anxiety-provoking existential moment as all eyes are on you and you decide everyone's fate for the day.) Others have the PA, who will be getting the food, decide.
Deciding what to eat
The job involves sitting on your ass all day long. So, most writers are very conscious of the food they're eating as a way to offset this lack of exercise.
That doesn't mean they're making good decisions. It just means they're cognizant of the bad decisions they're making.
The plans for a salad turn into a steak sandwich, foregoing lunch altogether turns into a steak sandwich, and so on...
But overall, you do want to be wary of the smelliness of the food. Often you will be eating lunch in the writers' room, which means everybody will be exposed to the smell of your crab cakes and halibut soufflé.
And everybody will be exposed to your breath afterward. So, be mindful.
The dinner conundrum
At around 5pm, the PA will poke their head into the writers' room and ask if they want dinner.
Immediately, all eyes will shoot over to the showrunner. This is an anxious moment, because the writers are about to learn if they're going to be getting out at a reasonable time or not.
If the showrunner says "yes," everyone will be pissed. If they say "no," but there's still clearly a lot of work to be done, everyone will be pissed... and hungry.
Once again, bad food choices are made, and once again, everyone is mindful not to set off a stink bomb in the middle of the writers' room. Well, most people are anyway.
Writers' room kitchen snacking
Every writers' office's kitchen is stacked! There are tons of snacks that really reflect the health of the writing staff. I've been in writers' offices where kombucha and nonfat greek yogurt was flowing freely. And I've been in others where you had your choice of Gushers, Fruit By The Foot, or Lay's.
More importantly, a quick run to get a snack from the kitchen gives writers the opportunity to duck out of the smelly writers' room for five minutes. And writers liberally take advantage of this.
This is also why my weight fluctuated a good 30 pounds between when I was employed in a writers' room and when I wasn't.
Food is both a savior and a devil in the writers' room - it calms and annoys - it is always lurking there, ready for you to give in - and it is the holy grail at the end of a long day.
And when you get to the stage, there's crafty... but I'll leave that for another post...
